A project has consumed my time lately. A project that involved looking back and piecing things together arranging images in an order that could be consumed and appreciated. It is meant to elicit discussion so that in the future the past can have some semblance of order.
Looking back is never easy. As I scrolled through all the images it felt like that scene from the Matrix where all of a sudden information is uploaded and that information is instantly available as skill. These images transported me back to the north and south, east and west, and to all parts in between. Memories of people long gone and it made me notice how time is shaping the young uns into adults.
There was a deadline that I wanted to adhere to. I need to have this picture book project finished so that it would be published in time for me to give it all away to friends and family as I make my way towards the next phase in life. It has become increasingly apparent to me that living life the way I’ve been living is not sustainable. The need to attain that next plateau grows inside and with it an appreciation of the shifting sands of time.
This theme of looking back in order to see the road ahead is constructive. For far too long I’ve been too busy and sometimes too lazy to execute my ideas to their fullest extent. For a long while there was the desire to enjoy the times often imbibing and laughing with friends. Friends became a substitute for the extended family we left behind when our family sought a better life in North America. The ‘could have beens’ are numerous and are often seen with the certainty of looking back. These are often more colorful and optimistic than the ‘might have beens’ that also could have happened.
There is a certain amount of care that went into making this collage of images. What happened to some of those friends? We try to stay in touch but with all of our various life’s we grew apart but new faces have entered into the picture and what we have to realize is that we only have so much time in our daily lives for everyone. If we were to constantly try to talk to one another it would be at the expense of something else. Work and all of those other chores that we need to take care of get in the way. Those memories and the way that they have influenced who we are, who I am are still there to my detriment and benefit. These two sides are always there.
Even this present time is something that will influence me for ever more. As I look around me at the conditions that I find myself in I realize more and more what I desire. When I go to wash my face or my dishes the individual taps for hot and cold drive me mad. What’s wrong with having them come out of one tap? Today in the morning for some unexplained reason there wasn’t any hot water in the poorly pressurized shower 😐.
The cold has begun to flow from the north just as the clocks fell back from their summer time arrangement. This is the worst time of the year in many ways and the fight against seasonal affective disorder begins anew. I wonder if it a real thing or just something that comes naturally to everybody as the body wants to hibernate and sleep all the bloody time.
It’s an interesting time and as I move closer to my departure from this isle the things happening all around me and you blur before it becomes clearer. More on all of this later.