Binding Words

“…with my Girlfriend.”

I uttered this phrase at the end of a sentance. It got me to thinking weather or not this is the right way to say it. It this the right term to describe the relationship and my relationship to my other. This person with whom I’ve shared moments and now we discuss how we will spend our upcoming life together. We are optimists. 

The term “boyfriend/girlfriend” has an implication of youth. We are no longer in our twenties and are not considered “young” although we are youthful. These terms imply a bit of innocence a sense of discovery where we explore each other learning what makes each other tick. It may be that to get this kind of title hoisted onto you means a seriousness that comes from discovering that you really like someone. Maybe like a first level of seriousness. 

“My woman” “my significant other” “my lady” insert the male equivalent as you wish. Still these terms imply possessiveness and a certain distance away from the warmth that a relationship brings. These are terms that one would say in a workplace setting or in a bar to a specific audience depending on who they are. These terms have an adult feel to them a kind of maturity that being kind of grown up have their appeal. I’m not used to saying these things. 

I’m used to saying that “I’m seeing someone” but we have passed that stage now. That phrase in and of itself implies something too. A commitment to get it on and that we are still feeling each other out. We are not sure if we have “feelings” and that maybe someone else will come along. It doesn’t specify who and it could be no one in particular or maybe two or three at a time. Feelings that sometimes dirty word can be liberating. To acknowledge that there are some toward a particular being can set you free. I’ve always tried to follow my intuition but remained cautiously optimistic in case that I get hurt. Scars have their tales on my battered heart. Experience though does count for something as it tunes the intuition into a finely tuned instrument. 

“My partner” implies something and with the gender neutral rage in society is a much more apt description of this sort of state. A state that gives some anonymity and is mature while at the same time implying a status and level of commitment towards the other being. When this term is followed by “he” or “she” it also describes your orientation in case someone wondered what it was. Not that there is anything wrong with that but there is an audience that you’re expressing that to. I kind of like this term. But like I said I’m not used to saying these things. 

As the relationship progresses there is the “fiancé” level that one day we will reach. Then that’s followed by “husband and wife” another level up. This stems from moving in life from the lonely partnerless existence to one in a bond. Where the needs and wants of another have to be reconciled with my own. There are obvious benefits to being in this state right now it’s still virtual we are not in the same place. With that also comes some anxiety that we discuss as it comes up but what’s needed for all of this to be a success is fuel from love and a commitment to making it work through the slings and arrows that rain down sometimes all around. 

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