A brooding mood has washed over me. Why wouldn’t it and why now? Things that ruminate through the mind sometimes the resistance to thinking about them is weakened. Should I just go out and party? It won’t solve anything.
The return to Vancouver was hampered by a slow transportation system. They are taking advantage of everyone’s absence during this bank holiday to do some maintenance. This means the trains are packed. Maybe it was here that the thinking started. After I finished my daily thoughts it just kept on going.
One way of alleviating these thoughts is to make the conscious mind focus on something else entirely like a show. I’ve continues to watch the “Narcos” show and I’ve found it intriguing. Each character displays their own ego and the consequences of their actions have far reaching implications. Everything changes over time and the impact of their decisions doesn’t always have the desired effect.
Maybe there is something to my own predicament in here. Maybe it’s just reading into it too much. Maybe I’m seeking something that will satisfy my desires and coming up short all the time. I can be happy but I’m not content. I don’t know why that is but I’m trying to find out. Wearing your heart on a sleeve isn’t always the right thing to do.