If I didn’t take notice of the date it would be just another day. The previous day frustrating the next day celebratory but today is reflective. There are many more events to reflect upon now that another decade has passed. Where has the time gone and how come I’m here now?
It certainly could have been a lot worse. In my teens I could have been one of those statistics and tragedies that gets a column in the paper talking about how much potential was wasted. Depending on what could have happened but didn’t it might just have been a paragraph. But that is then and I probably have my parents to thank for showing me and teaching me about love and instilling in me a conscience. Something that I’ve had to carry as my life evolved. Life after high school became much more interesting and it was certainly filled with much more adventure than the previous immature years.
Speaking of immaturity I wonder when that is going to happen 😉? I still feel like a big kid having the phrase about seeing the world with child like wonder deeply embedded in my mind and soul. When the rational aspects are turned off and I gaze upon the world as an objective observer it is in those moments when the truth that jumps out becomes apparent. Truth or fact or maybe just insight that is glossed over and not necessarily apparent when not paid attention to. It has taken me longer to develop. It may be because it’s complicated.
Moving different parts of my body there are a few parts that feel the strain of all the years of use. Overall though I feel pretty good. The last few months that I’ve spent here allowed me to focus on my diet and exercise and I’ve noticed the results and confirmed them on the scale. I feel like I’m in pretty decent shape and as my body has changed the next decade will be spent curating a new wardrobe as the old one no longer fits. As the exterior has changed so has the interior as meditation channeled through activity and stillness has evolved my perspective on the immediate and the past. This has navigated me to find a direction however undefined at the moment, but one that will get me closer to the goals that are written down somewhere in one of my books.
The work day was a bit frustrating but I didn’t want it to affect me. Conflicts between personalities arise whenever there are people confined to a space and tasked with performing. I brought in a box of chocolates and announced that it was my birthday the next day. There were whispers about how quiet I have kept this news. There is no need to shout it out. It’s going to be a quiet birthday certainly not the crazy spectacles I’ve had in the days of yore. It’s a big year this time around and it would have been nice if Ba(r)be was here with me but such is life. Still there is much to look forward to.
I’m glad to have good friends and a good family. As far as feeling well and being in a good place mentally I am grateful for that as well. The good fortune that smiled on me and resourcefulness that materialized when it was needed has to be acknowledged as well.
After work Bernie picked me up and we drove to my place in Stafford as he was curious to see the conditions that I am living in. He is amazed that I haven’t lost it there. The style of the accommodations is typical of an era in British architecture and thought. Then it was up the M6 towards Manchester through traffic jams that appeared after every junction for no apparent reason. We listened to a selection of music from my phone that had a nostalgic feel to it. All that music that still has relevance today.
Childhood delinquency is always rooted in adult delinquency
There was some positive music in there too. Songs that build up the spirit with high tempo beats that were at odds with the snarling jam we periodically found ourselves in as we got closer to our goal. We talked about the things that have happened recently in France. These events that have such a large effect on our society. I am an optimist though and I do think that people collectively have the strength to carry on. I’m looking forward to this weekend. There isn’t time to reflect more as there are things to do.