I feel like a can that has been shaken and placed back on the table waiting for someone to open it. I ceremoniously flipped the page on the calendar the previous month’s days crossed out my mental arithmetic struggling with basic subtraction. Forty-two minus seven…
The day is getting closer as you can tell I’m anticipating and my mind is swirling with all kinds of thoughts. It’s exciting but still so far to go. One day after another they blend into one as I seek some kind of activity to occupy my time. The flatmate comes and goes having a strange schedule. We talk about random things mostly to do with work and the system we inhabit.
A former architect with strangely shaped thumbs was difficult to cannulate. His age and the way his skin felt disguised the veins underneath. My first attempt was a failure due to the fragility of his veins. It’s like what happens when a river bursts its banks. The pressure in the vein overpowers the thin wall of the vein spilling blood underneath the skin forming a bubble visible from above. He was already poked a few times but he needs the test. This first attempt allowed me to know what I was dealing with and the next one would be a bit more measured. I employed the old heat trick with wet paper towels. I examined his arms and hands for signs of engorged vessels.
Since he was an architect I asked him a question that I thought he would have an easy answer to. Why are there two faucets one with cold and the other with hot water running out of them. It’s my pet peeve about the UK two taps with two extreme temperatures of water running out of them. He was a little stumped and thought about it for a while before saying that he never thought it odd as it’s always been that way. It has to do with the way they do the plumbing here the regulations et cetera.
This conversation was a distraction to keep him distracted with my search for a decent vein. I tapped different parts and sought to find something to stick the needle into for access for his test. I finally found something and quieted a bit before piercing his skin with the sharp bevel and guiding the sheath into the vein. Finally some success. We finished off by flushing with some saline and then taping it secure. His test will proceed as planned although it was a bit delayed.
If you leave the can for a while the pressure created from the agitation will subside a bit. It won’t cause a violent release just a gentle hiss. To burn off that excess energy I excercise and walk and my weight has been dropping as a result of all this activity. Paradoxically my calmness comes from the activity and not from just sitting there. Shaking would be like sitting and calmness comes from movement.