Couldn’t be there in person. Can’t go and see a performance that one doesn’t know will happen. When all you have is yourself… well in the immediate vicinity anyways it makes looking at the world around you a bit differently. Maybe it has to do with the churning that is happening inside. It’s a wiping away of unnecessary things, of excess, and finding the board on which to write on. To project what the true interior will manifest into reality. In movies this happens within a number of seconds but in reality it takes a while. ADD that affliction has sometimes afflicted me and sometimes too many things added together to strain focus and the ability to hold it together.
“When the music hits you, you feel no pain”, so sang Bob Marley in one of his songs. Music has been a constant companion filling the silence and drowning out the noise. There has been so much of it that has rattled my ears vibrating with its timbre and its bass with rhythm and melody carrying me away. Thoughts like passing your hand through water the vortexes and funnels of swirling motion expressed through such turning too quick to capture. Too quick to make them stop in a snap to be examined closer later. Maybe in those close ups there would be found a detail, that one detail that would be that piece of the puzzle that fits just so. Then that scaffolding could be taken down and that structure seen in its entirety will be finally appreciated. Now it’s just a jack of all trades project that has a budget that is underfunded in monetary terms yet sufficiently stocked in others ways.
Sometimes when certain sounds come through that speakers the reverberation of something affects that interior. There is a synchrony between readiness and unexpectedness. There is a physical effect and in this case it was the boldness of the performance coupled with the passion. There was the quick bio read and a recognition of that something. It’s when you put on this coat and feel like a boss projecting an aura hiding in a shadow the mask is a true face for the time being. Its performance and its execution combined into one. This performance as it flashes on my little screen and now plays on my speaker is an insight into the artist herself. Into the clawing and adapting, growing and changing. Marching forward transforming and not accepting but pursuing. Of course there is the whole thing right there, it would have been there on stage the pieces falling together in symphony anti gravity, a bright constellation in the sky mesmerizing.
It makes me think of the conversation I had with my flatmate. How allowing women to have equal access to society springs from it something that men wouldn’t be able to do. It’s the complexity of the dynamic “want to be your muse let you use my music let me be your rhythm tonight”. These lyrics stood out as the paragraph progressed as the video above played in the background. The next song to me feels like the past, a sinking ship but a fight to survive and a fight to overcome a fight to win. The voice slightly cracking adds something too… soul.
Being able to shout as loud as you can until your voice is coarse is liberating, uplifting and cathartic. The last time that happened for me was bungie jumping in South Africa… I still remember how it came billowing out as loud as I could all that emotion. This last songs echoes that, that kind of catharsis as you break through and let go entering a new phase leaving the cocoon waiting for the new form to harden from this birth. Waking into a new perspective it feels good… this is what music awakens and how we as ants keep working and as monkeys typing, wood peckers pecking, chipping away others building towards a totality. We put on these coats, these glasses and enter the mindset the character, appropriating these words. These are not the only ones, not the only words or rhythms there are many alter egos eliciting different characteristics.