As it happens let’s see how this goes. The curves are all there but is the honesty there as well. Sharing our deepest thoughts and intimate occurrences. I was blown away by the life you lead up until this point in time. Those checkered pants…

  
So I’m sitting here at five in the morning. I didn’t think it was going to be as large a bill as it was sitting in a club sipping on a champagne bottle but maybe I should have known better. The dawn is in full effect in Roppongi  the place where expatriates congregate. One thing let to another and sitting here now for the girl who’s name I never got to come back and for us to get some food for us to eat. How did o get here? At what point do I begin? 

  
In the morning I sat in the coffee shop composing my thoughts. I had a breakfast that passed as an eggs Benedict in some places that I ordered it before. Did I just get played keeps running through my mind. Nevertheless I went on the social network to try to find someone to have some fun with, someone to talk to, someone who spoke the same language let’s see where this takes me I thought to myself. 

  
Somehow it was easy to get matched. There are many single people in Tokyo so I guess that is why. As always it is all a numbers game and the more you try the more chances there are for success. Conversations wax and wane depending on a multitude of factors it’s that sort of a game. Over the course of the past couple of days I’ve been talking to this one bird and we kind of made vague plans to meet in the afternoon. This gave me a chance to go to the Tsukiji fish market as well as checking out Namiyoke Inari Shrine that had some festival going on that happens every three years. It’s just a short ride on the metro to Ginza and there I am. 

  
People were everywhere as I made my way towards the shrine. Some were dressed in traditional garb some were sweaty and I wondered if in this late hour of the morning I had missed the whole thing. I stopped first at some temple that caught my attention and walked through it quickly because I knew where I wanted to be later. 

  
Soon my destination came into view. There were quite a few people there not as many as I would have thought for a major festival as advertised in the pages though. There were enough to form a crowd around the object being carried around. There were chants and some pushing as the people underneath jumped in a rhythmic motion with the weight over them. It was a fascinating sight and atmosphere to be around. 

  
Somehow I got cought in the middle of it all as I tried to get a better view and photo. It seems like I haven’t missed anything at all. The heaving motions of the group wandering in the parking lot of the fish market made the scene a little bit surreal. There was a ceremony where these objects were blessed by the priests as well as a few speeches from raspy sounding men in elaborate robes. They had these things parked for a while I thought that this was it but to my surprise they started up again. 

  
Teams consisted of mostly men with a few women here and there under the weight of the little shrine being carried around. I wonder how much this thing weighed. There were people directing which way it should go and blowing a whistle to keep the up and down motion synchronized. By the shrine there were drummers playing every once in a while. Their beating on the drums in tune with each other in a coordinated display. 

  
All this activity started to make me feel hungry. I knew what I wanted to find to eat but it all depended on which place I was going to give my business to. There were more than a few choices around. Obviously I was going to eat some kind of raw fish. The sushi here should be the freshest out of any I could find. Which place was it going to be? The choice kind of made itself after looking at the menu and the price associated with the meal. I must say that the chef’s premium assorted plate lived up to my liking. I sat beside another guy visiting from Taiwan and we spoke a bit as we chowed down. There were a few items that I wasn’t sure about but it was still good. Everything was very fresh. The prawn was huge and everything melted in the mouth except for the squid that was a both chewy and needed a bit of time before it too went down. 

  
My watch told me that I should try to get in contact with her. She gave me her phone number so that we could whasapp. It is a more convenient way of communicating. I found a coffee shop to sit in so that I could be around wifi. Without a connection there is no communication. There is something nice about female company. It’s not just the prospect of getting laid but all the other things associated with their presence. The way a conversation flows and their facial expressions when talking about things they love or hate. Their experiences and impressions of the world. The way they fret about how they look regardless of whether or not they are into glamor. There is something about their presence that brings out a different side of me it’s something that has been missing in my life and I have to keep trying to get someone into my life. At some point this pursuit will end but until then I have to keep playing the field.

  
As I waited for her response the busy coffee shop kept filling up with sweaty people from the festival. The team underneath keeps changing with new people constantly rotating in. It takes a lot of exertion to carry that thing around. I finally got my response. She informed me that she injured herself at the gym doing cross fit and that she was at some clinic waiting to get checked out. We weren’t going to meet up tonight.  I was a little dissapointed but what could I say? I hoped that she got better and went on to another part of town. Walking always clears the mind. The sun was hidden behind a haze now as I traversed over one bridge and then another. I seemed to have gotten to a place where they are probably building venues for the upcoming Olympics. It is interesting to see these buildings taking form. 

  
It became clear to me that I should probably find my way back to the hotel. If I was going to have a night out tonight would be it. The elevated train in the distance offered me the opportunity to do just that. It also allowed me to see what is around here in these newly constructed buildings all around. There are many interesting structures here. I got a glimpse of them as the train made its way around the grounds. They say that form follows function but in some cases they were just forms meant to inspire instead of functioning as anything utilitarian in my mind. The train went under the Rainbow Bridge which was kind of fun. 

  
By the time I got to the station it was slowly starting to get dark. I walked by a barber shop and decided to get a haircut. I purchased my ticket from the vending machine and sat in a chair that was already waiting for me. It’s hard to communicate exactly what I wanted but guys haircuts are much easier to do. It just needed a trim the basic outline is already there. I could tell by the barber’s expression that he wanted to get it right. Satisfied with the outcome I continued on to the hotel. It’s strange how empty the streets are on the weekend here. The many employees that are employed here are not around to give these buildings and restaurants life. I wondered what kind of a night out this was going to be. 

  
My hotel is in an area that is filled with bars and restaurants. These were eerily quiet at this time of night. I got to my room to get ready and just kind of sat there conversing. I got convinced to go out and walked around and got myself a drink resisting the solicitations for a special massage. Not satisfied I went back to my room resigned to just get a good nights sleep. Then I got a message from another match. She was out with some friends and invited me out to join them. I thought about it for less then a second. It was already past midnight but what the hell she looked kind of cute and let’s see where it goes. 

  
The bar/karaoke club wasn’t too far away from me. I got there pretty fast after freshening up a bit. I would like to make a good first impression. The place was filled with expats. So this is the area where they all go and congregate. I messaged her to say I was there after looking around trying to recognize her from the photo she put up. She was nowhere to be found. I had no choice but to wait to see if she responded to my text. 

  
I started chatting to another bird that was standing there. She looked fine in those patterned leggings that fit tightly around her legs. It’s better to be at least talking to somebody. She told me she was from South Africa and that she has been living here for a while. The conversation was going well. She told me about her first couple of months living there and the trouble she had getting laid. She was quite tall and would be an imposing figure to the shorter Japanese men. We found a spot where we could sit and talk more comfortably I liked where this was going. 

  
We had another drink and kept talking more heirs she suggested we should go somewhere else and have another drink. I said sure and we made our way to some establishment. It looked like a strip club with the women kind of sitting there occasionally stanging up and twirling around the pole. We kept on drinking and getting closer. She told me a sad story of her partner dying in a tragic accident two weeks before they were to get married. She was pregnant at the time and this whole event devastated her. She told me how her father told her to go away as she was now seen as bad luck because of what had happened. This was five years ago and she said that she felt much better now having overcome the devastation. We ordered a bottle and some shots and ended up renting a cubicle to get some privacy. It is expensive to rent so we didn’t stay there long. The time came to pay the bill and I had to go to the ATM. The bill was a hefty one but the experience so far with her had been great. 

  
We left the place and she wanted to get something to eat before we went to her place or maybe mine it didn’t really matter. She ordered me a beer and said she was going to the ATM as she offered to pay for the meal. I watched as she climbed down the stairs and sat there watching all the people all around me. They were all half cut from hanging out at the many bars in the area. I sat there and started to wonder if she was going to come back. A dreadful thought came through my mind that somehow I’ve peen played. The expensive tab the friendly come on the ease with which we got together. I paid the tab and went outside. I waited there for a long while to make sure she just didn’t get lost in the state that she was in. I should have never let her leave my sight I thought. I felt foolish and angry now. It was such a fun time and now it felt ruined. There were the usual solicitations and many westerners with bleary eyes in the dawn’s cloudy sunlight. What could I do? Where should I look for her? There were many people all around. 

  

This whole episode just reinforces my desire to find someone to settle down with. I’ve had this desire for a long time and have so far searched in vain for the flame that would keep me there by her side so that we could burn bright. Circumstances, false starts, missed opportunities and of course fuck ups have all contributed to this. I have had many many lessons now. As time goes on it doesn’t get any easier or harder it’s just being at the right time and place and I haven’t found that yet. Or maybe I have and just don’t know it yet. As some faces keep flowing through my mind and I wonder which one I would like to look at for the rest of my life. To stare into those eyes in the evening light and the morning dawn. On a beach or some far away locale sipping on wine or cooking dinner with surprising her with flowers or a little gift I found just walking around on my daily routine. That private life that has just glimpses of on social media but within that it’s filled with laughter and love that has a warmth of feeling that sustains through those tough times that sometimes come along. 

This hangover I’m feeling now should go away at some point. It’ll be a quieter day for me today. I paid a heavy price for this story but it’s only money as important as it may be. I have a feeling that it will affect the decisions I will make in the future with respect to where I will be.