Lost Days of Freedom

Recovery takes time and that is exactly what my mind and body needed after the gueling few days that folloed my trip back to the West Coast. It was time to get down to business however. There was a lot to do and a precious few days left in which to do them in. I looked at the time that I had left and wished that there were a few more days or weeks left instead of just four. Four days in which to begin to do the things that I had been putting off for so long because there were priorities. A few more weeks of leisure in which to explore all of the possibilities that time affords a man of leisure. A few more weeks to catch up on the things that have been happening in the world lately.

Getting down to business was figuring out where I was going to go on my first day of work on Monday. There was a bunch of paperwork to fill out so that things at work can begin with things running smoothly. I must hand it to them they are a productive bunch here. Through the magic of the interwebs I was able to fulfill what was required of me. A few signatures and a few scans of said documents was all that was needed. It ate into the precious time that I cherished. There was some faffing there as Chrl had a bit of an easier week. She was working up to her big day on Monday too where she was going to go and perform a rite of passage in her program caled an “oral.” We had a lot of fun with the innuendo as in the context of what she was doing at school it was and is a very specific term referring to the legal presentations that she was assigned to do.

I went out and bought some food and spent untold hours just reading what was out there. What is happening in this world? So much anger at the policies that have fascinated the world. A lot has been said about the facts as they are and as they are perceived to be. Belief is the strong arm that carries the torch. This arm is flexing a muscle that has grown in the minds of those who follow and believe that this is the right way. Emboldened and quiet on the sidelines they float in a seperate reality to the one presented by the mainstream. It has found an alternative stream that was at one point just a trickle. It is now bursting at the seams and distributing like spores from a mature ascus using winds. It’s like any particulate matter dispearsing according to concentration differences. It permeates and gets into spaces that didn’t have them before and germinates when it finds a suitable environment that is able to nurture these seedlings into something slowly infecting and infiltrating. Like a disease it grows slowly saping all of of the available energy and focus so that nothing else matters. It is just outrage.

“Don’t argue with an unintelligent person because they will beat you with experience.” Or something to that effect. An appeal to logic and rationality will not win. There have been instances that are most effectively described by the comics. They break it down and the reality of it has been both funny and sad. It is a strange comfort to realize that again. Words of wordsmiths molded to reveal that uncomfortable truth that somehow something isn’t right. Intelligence could only get you so far before the blindspot gets revealed. I try to stay away from all of that but I’ve been infected and spurred to action in order to heal myself. In order to clean up my backyard and keep my own house in order as one cannot order any other houses otherwise.

These weren’t the kind of thoughts that I wanted to carry around in my mind. I wanted to be looking forward to that new chapter that was readying to be written. Another job to add to the resume. Another set of experiences and people to add to the ever growing repertoire of friends and acquaintences. I should be excited at this but I was wishing that I had another week or so to just lay around and do some things that are rumbling around in my mind. Projects that will take some time to set up and excecute. The thing is I can’t take what has happened for granted. What if I didn’t find that job. I would have be sitting here hoping that I would find a job soon. Something that will allow me to finance the life that has developed between Chrl and me. Although I am looking forward to working I know that the first few days will be spent sitting on my butt listening to all of that information being presented. At least I’ll be getting paid. The joy will return and time will be found to actualize all of those things inside of me.
















Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s