Unsettled Systems

It was going to rain they said. It’s going to fall hard they said. I was boiling in my hoodie. Looking up at the sky looking for the tell tale signs of rain in the form of dark clouds that are filled with moisture just waiting to fall down. At about two o’clock it fell but I didn’t see it. When the end of the day finally came it was hot. Too hot for the hoodie that I wore to protect me from this rain. The pavement had dried by this point. The only sign of rain was the discolored by moisture concrete holding plants along my way to the bus stop. 

After getting off the train there was a giant puddle that splashed water quite high onto the cars that passed through it. I wondered how I’ll get across it but in a lul in the traffic I tip toed around it without getting me feet wet. This ace be was my present focus of attention but thoughts in the periphery were somewhere else. 


What does one do with insight? When a problem is presented to you and you know that it’s up to you to do something about it. This problem is not of your own creation and only affects you because it affects people you know. What is so serious as to have this effect? As with most issues that affect people this centers on relations between people. People that I care about but the details of this problem lie outside the scope of expressing it completely here. 


So this problem that they have has nuances that play themselves out in the type of behavior that they display. One side versus the other whereas they should be working together towards a common goal. This schism lies in a difference between their individual views regarding how they should proceed. This then feeds the way they relate to one another causing animosity toward each other. 


This type of problem is found in many relationships. One has to support the other half even though there may be some misgivings about their ideas. You have to allow the other to reach for success even though there is a potential for failure in that venture. One hopes and bets on success and learns to dissipate concerns so as to eliminate a build up of animosity. Animosity will come if you don’t allow the other the freedom to pursue those goals. It’s not unlike clouds building up their moisture content. It would be nice if we could control them. Allow enough moisture to build up for it to rain without causing a violent downpour that floods the ground. 


One tries to be the objective observer an omnipresent narrator and author who finds solutions to their characters stories. The world is not that simple though and unforeseen events have a way of sneaking into the narrative. Objectivity also dissipates and infuses sleep with disturbing dreams like the one I had last night. 

I remember sitting there at a station the train paused and the platform somewhat populated with passengers. I think I was in a loo on the platform that offered no privacy as I was doing a number two. The train conductors and managers were standing leaning against the old school locomotive in front of me. I had a strange feeling that me and my love had fallen out of favor with each other and she had left me there. The train was boarding and I paused as I was about to wipe deciding against it and then I woke up. 

I don’t remember most of my dreams but this one made me feel kind of sad in the morning. I conveyed this to me love in the morning but I think the dreams wasn’t about us it was about them. They are in the midst of a storm that hasn’t yet begun to saturate the ground with water or flooded the rivers with untold volumes of rain causing them to spill the banks and destroy all that’s in its way. My obligations lie in trying to help them in any way that I can.  

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