Rolling along as days fold one into another. The relative time spent here allows for a closer look at my surroundings. A scheduled down day on my camera thrust me amongst my colleagues and now reading this article had muddled my observations. 

In that article what is described is the increasing scope of what is defined to be trauma or bigotry or racism or harm or any other concept that inflicts pain and suffering. These events that happen in life and lead to psychological damage later on in life. I’ve been there. I’ve been bullied an made fun of. I remember feeling that emotional pain trying to understand why this was happening. Have those events all the way back then ruined me? I don’t know. Could I have been a different person living a different life right now? I don’t know. What I do understand is that it has affected my behavior and made me more aware of how people treat each other. How they relate to one another. It’s the old observation that you learn more about a date by the way they treat the waiter than how they treat your mother. 

What the article didn’t cover is how this “concept creep” has infiltrated what we now term “busy” and “stressed”. We were given a questionnaire to fill out, something that I haven’t done yet, that is going to measure the levels of stress in the department. There have been grumblings within that there is too much work and due to the lack of control over the work it is causing undue stress on the employees. The boss is away on stress leave seemingly from too much responsibility placed on their shoulders and them not being able to cope with it. Mind you there have been circumstances that have lead to this outcome and it is complicated to explain all of this without a sufficient background explanation regarding the state that it has become. 

For the most part people are okay but there is a general lack of motivation to do better. The standards that I set for myself are a bit higher than are tolerated here and this creates a schism within me. I can’t go around on my high horse and say “this is wrong!” I’ve tried to make a few changes but change here takes a long time since it has to be vetted by others and this process takes time. This is not unique to this department but is found throughout the medical system here in the UK. Endless meetings and consultations that go nowhere as delays mount and the impetus for change wanes because of the delays. This is not unlike changing a policy within any corporate or government structure. 

So as there were a few frustrations with some of my colleagues who are in a  senior role. It was too hard to do something so they passed it on to someone else. It’s easier that way but they have that reputation. “I am not signed off on this” they say and avoid doing it. I could go on but I have to go to work…