What do we ask of Love? This emotion that binds us together and motivates us to do things that we wouldn’t normally do but for this emotion this feeling we do so many things. On this day I ponder this feeling as a way of understanding it to a degree because ultimately it is hard to understand rationally but only with the heart.
Valentinus or more widely known as Saint Valentine was a priest or bishop who died sometime around 279AD. Little is known about him and his life and February 14th was his feast day in the Catholic calendar. The church itself has little knowledge about him other than he died somewhere outside of Rome. Through the centuries a mythology built up around him and it wasn’t until Chaucer wrote about him and used his feast day as a day to celebrate romance that this day became associated with Love. As we came into the modern era this day has become commercialized into what we experience today.
What is love?
It is a line from a famous song and the line that follows talks about pain. Love is not pain although the loss of love can cause immeasurable pain. This is not going to be a lament about loss or the pain associated with it. It is about the positive aspects of love those aspects that inspire us to seek it despite the pain that it may cause. You have to be open to it but you also have to recognize it and not get mislead by infatuation and carnal desire. Those things however may lead you to love. Love is a tricky thing sometimes.
Love* is conditional although Love isn’t. There shouldn’t be an “if and only if” condition attached to it. I struggled with this but only because in the long term I want progeny. It didn’t stop me from expressing Love. True Love can’t be fooled like cream it rises to the top and it finds a way. In many ways it is a miracle as it unlocks places hidden or shines a light on places that once were in shadow. Love* is what breaks down when conditions change so it’s temporary like the course of the sun through the day.
love is what we should always have in our heart. It’s that feeling we have for our fellow human who walks down the street or sits there in the coffee shop. love of this kind helps to keep our society together and we expect it from everyone around us. love of this kind includes respect and caring, empathy and understanding because we never know if our feet will slip into their shoes someday. love of this kind is hardest when we encounter people who we dislike. We have to fight through these thoughts and feelings but we know we don’t always win that battle.
LOVE is what we scream out at a concert when we are high on emotion. LOVE is what we declare to another when they make us feel right. LOVE! Is what we demand when we cry at night alone praying that it finds us sometime soon because it’s been too long. LOVE is what we command others to do in order for them to get over their funk.
What we really want is Love from another so that we can give it right back. Synergistically we build up each other in order to sustain our lives together holding each other tight, supporting at times even though we are apart. It sneaks up on you as it did on me but I’ve been ready for a while so now I just have to hold steady amidst the winds and the storms. Do I really know for sure? No, but I think and feel that this is right. I opened up my vault and showed her my treasures and she is reciprocated in kind. There was no pressure to stay but this is the last time I will leave the way I have. I think I may have found a home not in a place but a person and she is all the way accross the pond. Hence Leon Bridges’ single on repeat often on my phone.
A long time ago I learned that the single most important decision you make is who you chose to spend your life with. I believed this and continue to do so to this day. It was why being alone was easier than being miserable with someone. Sometimes it was my choice and sometimes it was not. With each subsequent tick more knowledge was acquired and a trust within myself grew yet I didn’t know how it would turn out. I still don’t. Yet I trust that this is right and the future looks bright. This is why this decision as to who you spend your life with has so much importance. It can help create the conditions for a happy long life. Love it turns out has practical implications. It’s not just about romance but also about friendship and companionship the other twenty-three (or so) hours you spend together 😉. That other hour making Love is important too as it serves as a glue and fertilizes the relationship too.
I don’t want to trivialize this concept but just say something now before we have a chat later on and peer digitally at each other. When we were together we focused on enjoying each other’s company. We let go of the barriers that normally stand in front of the treasures inside as there was no time to play around. We had limited time and that served as a lubricant that opened the rusted doors housing the treasure inside. Now that they’ve been opened its hard to close them up but the benefits are a smile and a feeling that is hard to describe. I feel at peace and relaxed but waiting to reunite. I’ve searched for Love all over and it’s taken a wild ride to find it. It was there all along ❤️.